Reality comes to Christmas Town
by Mouse

The once jovial snowman came shuffling across the litter covered snow banks.  His once dapper appearance now tattered and torn, his umbrella bent and covered with holes. 

He knocks on a seedy back ally door. 

A window opens and a quick transaction transpires.  Sam fills his glass pipe and lights it with a small pocket torch.  Through the light of his torch he notices his audience.

'Why hello, I thought I would never see you again.  Do you remember me?  I am Sam, long ago when you were a child I told you a story about a reindeer named Rudolph.  If you remember Rudolph was treated like an outcast till Santa needed his bright red nose to lead him through a foggy snowstorm.  That was then, sadly this is now.  Let me catch you up on our misfits.'

With that the snow man turned down the ally and tipped his hat towards the hooker elves working under a dimly lit street light.

Society had started to creep into our little Christmas town and with it came all the vices that blur the line between naughty and nice.  With the internet came the porn that turned Santa's little helpers into a bunch of hump anything little bastards.  No toys for the children just pipes, bongs and leather goods.

The close knit bond between Rudolph and Herby (the elf turned dentist turned chemist) had spiraled into a frenzy of methamphetamine.

Oh it started innocently enough; it helps me keep Santa on schedule was his reasoning.  Then it was every few weekends Herby and Rudolph would tweak and soon fireball and Clarisse were joining them.

Soon it was every weekend then every day.  Soon everyone was showing the effects of meth.  Teeth and antlers were turning black and falling out.  Happy chatter turned into paranoid rantings that Yukon Cornelius and the Abombable Snowman were working for the feds and had to be killed.

Several of the Reindeer at flying class told coach Commit about Rudolph and how bad it had become.  Commit went to Rudolph's father Donner about his son’s problems and suggested an intervention.  They sat up all night drinking Jaggermister and discussing   how they would approach Rudolph.

The island of misfit toys had become a flop house for Rudolph and his crew.  There they cooked up their treats and fornicated with who ever they wanted.  Drunk, Donner and Commit staggered around looking for Rudolph.

The two elder deer split up to look for Rudolph and Commit, alone, came upon Rudolph with his crew in a burned out cave.  They had just finished an eight-ball and were in a nasty mood.  When Commit confronted Rudolph all four jumped Commit and beat him to death.

That leads us to what is happening at this very moment.  A S.W.A.T. team is now surrounding the castle on misfit island waiting for the order to take Rudolph dead or alive.  Donner sits behind the crime tape with a tear in his eye.

Santa, seeing the writing on the wall for the stable of Reindeer, has contracted with FedEx.

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